Brandon Sharitt's Blog

I occasionally sell things online through various mediums(forums, craigslist, and this time, Google Base), and often times I get some crazy responses from people asking for free stuff, “Dude, I really need this, any chance I can get it for free” to a lot of offers to trade for game consoles and fourwheelers. When I was selling my 8GB iPod touch, I actually had one guy who wanted to trade me for his 16 iPod touch with a cracked screen. And of course low ball offers all around. I usally respond with some sort of concise version of “no”. From there I usually don’t hear back from them again, or might even get a quick “Cool, I had to try” back. Rarely I might get a serious offer from the person and once I did actually trade. Despite all these, the reply I got from a declined offer today is probably one of my favorites.

So I’m trying to sell my Nokia E71 I got back in March since I dumped AT&T in favor of Cincinnati Bell, thus I no longer have 3G on it, and honestly, a smart phone with no 3G is pretty lame. So I checked out eBay to see what some of the going rates are(though I don’t sell on eBay). They seem to be in the $200-$250 range, with some brave souls trying for the $270-$280 range. Normally I would aim squarly at the bottom of the heap, but I was feeling fiesty and aimed just above the middle at $230 on Google Base(listed in Google Products results) leaving the price negotiable.  So I get a message simply stating: “hi can you do the E71 for $175 ? ”. That’s $55 off the list price, nearly a 25% cut, and there are E71s on eBay at $175 with several bids a couple days left on the auction. Taking all that into consideration, I decide this guy is not a serious buyer and just wants a cheap phone. Since I’m not desparate to dump the phone, I have no reason to consider his offer to be of any merit, and respond with: “Not even close”. Twenty minutes later, I get back a great little wharrgarbl(you know this guy voted for McCain). Below is his entire reply(the “quoted” text) with my reply mixed in. However, I do have some decency and won’t divulge his email address.

> thats your lame rude answer…is that how you bargain ? you need to
> go back to school on how to
> talk to potential buyers. you are an asshole

Okay, this is just a comedy gold wharrgarbl. You seem to be personally offended that I didn’t accept you(actually quite offensive in itself) offer to give you almost 25% off the price. I’m apparently supposed to take you very low ball offer very seriously, because you seem to be entitled to this phone, even if you offer suggests you’re not a serious buyer(as does the smiley face in the original message). My response is actually quite accurate, because you weren’t even close to a respectable offer mark on this one. If you think you can find a nearly new E71 for under $200, good luck, you’ll need it. Hell, I would probably let this thing go for $200, but I’ve seen many for for more, so I was going for the extra pocket change. So if you would have said $200, I would have said it’s yours.

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> you must be a little kid

This actually struck me as funny for two reasons. One, I’m picturing little kids with Nokia business oriented smart phones. I’m sure it keeps little Billy from being late to his very important meeting at the jungle gym. The second is that the statement itself is only something I can picture some 14 year old saying who thinks he’s so high and mightyabove the younger children.

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> dont bother replying back as you are now blocked
>

Up until this point, I would have just dismissed you as an idiot and deleted your message, but this. This really took it up that extra notch to make it worthy of a response, and indeed worthy of even sharing. You blocked me. You blocked me for those three words. That’s awesome. Really, it is. I’m actually kind of proud of myself. Most people reserve blocking for spammers and the relative who keeps forwarding ”jokes” and pyramid schemes. I didn’t even have to get in a religious or political argument, I just had to refuse to consider a $55 discount for someone, obviously, as deserving as you. Of course there is also that certain naivety that when you block someone in email, you’re never going to hear back from them again. Back in 1995 when most people had that one email address from their ISP, that was true, but that GMail account isn’t even my primary address.

Thank you kind sir. I’ve actually had a long and stressful today at work, but your message has brightened up my day and given me a good laugh. For that, I commend you. Now go forth and try to pick up high end smart phones for next to nothing.

I’ve also taken off the negotioable tag and put the phone at $225.